All songs written, performed, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Greg Goldman at Cedar Studios, St. Louis, Missouri.

Cover art by Tim Corner, Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts.

Special thanks to: Liz Goldman, Teddy Goldman, Sammy Goldman, Tim Corner, Charlie Campbell, Ben Smith, John Daly, and Brandi Parker.

This album is comprised of one-half songs written in 2020 and one-half songs written seven or more years earlier (the earliest-written song is Away, written sometime around 1995). Thus, it is a combination of songs looking back into the past and songs looking ahead to what’s next. After all, hindsight is 20/20. - GG

© Greg Goldman 2020

Toss It Back

I try to leave it

But there’s simply no way home

I try to tease it

But I’m feeling it in my bones

And I don’t believe it always

I won’t deceive you anymore

But to pull me apart from you?

I want to see ya’

And just sit the whole storm out

It’s a fever

And I’m hotter than cold right now

I don’t believe I can wait

But then I’ve never been good with restraint

I’m tossing it back to you

I don’t believe you darling

I’ve seen the good and the true

I don’t believe you darling

But what can I do?

So I’m tossing it back to you

Don’t Remind Me

I don’t mind

Just leave it when you’re through

Just leave it when you want to

I don’t mind

I’m behind

I missed if it was fine

To open up my mind

I’m behind

And nothing is the end

And nothing is the last word

There’s nothing to pretend

That would be wrong

I’m on top

At least it’s hard to stop

I’ll stop it when I want to

I’m on top

And nothing keeps me down

And nothing makes me wronger

There’s nothing hanging ‘round

That is my fault

I won’t forget you now

Don’t remind me

I thought a way somehow

Don’t remind me

I won’t forget you now

Don’t remind me

I thought about it all this time

And I’m alive

So don’t remind me

Small Miracles

So much fighting your nature

But I suppose that it's natural

Wanna push you together

And yet I fear that it's fractural

Pace it out however you have to

You never know when our fate will drag you home

So much responding with anger

But you come by it naturally

And when you process it later

I'm fairly sure it comes back to me

Work it out however you have to

Just so long as you make it back to home

The very fact that you exist at all

Is to me a miracle

Let me sit and just savor

It won’t be like this all that long

We’ve handed down so much labor

Need to practice at staying strong

Just toss out whatever you have to

We’ll be here when you trace it back to home

The very fact that you exist at all

Honestly is a miracle

Test it out whenever you have to

Just so long as you make it back to home

The very fact that you exist at all

Is to me a miracle

What’s the Use

Well, figure it out

Really, it’s no big deal

Try to be the bigger one

Bigger than the block on what you feel

It’s been such a long time coming; where’s the “aha?”

Just finally pull the trigger

Oh, what’s the use in it?

What’s it all for?

Where’s the tenderness behind the bravado?

I believe in being strong

But I’m ready to be wrong

Part of me shouts

That this is not who we should be

I should know better though

I’ve known you since I could speak

I spent such a long time hoping, wearing you down

It seemed like we’d made some progress

Oh, what’s the use of it?

What’s it all for?

What’s your intention behind the bravado?

I believe I’m in the wrong

But it’s not just the one song

You can huff, you can puff

You won’t blow the whole house down, oh no

You can hope, you can pray

I don’t believe in it anyway, oh no

But time is on your side, I’ll grant you that

Oh, what’s the use in it?

What’s it all for?

Where’s the hopefulness behind the bravado?

What’s the use in it?

Either/Or

I take a piece of something each time that I see red

I got to learn to keep those feelings locked away

I know I’m not the one you had gambled on back then

I understand this way of being’s not okay

It’s not okay

What you feel now

As you’re eyeing the door

Not so different

You and I, either/or

It took a bit of something this time I made the threat

I know you fear the day I walk away

I'm not the only one who has made this all a mess

You understand we each have had a lot to say, a lot to say

What we feel now

As we're stopped at the door

Who will reach out

You and I, either/or

I wanna be free of the weight of the past

Chuck it all, drop the ball, start it over

I have never believed in a straightforward path

But that’s for pros; we’re off the road, we’re off the shoulder

I gotta believe we can make it up again

Take the chance, reach across, turn the corner

You are the one I have loved for so long

It’s not for show, not below any other

What do we do now

As we're stopped at the door

Who will reach out

You and I, either/or

Anthracite

I'm trudging along, both dunce and guiding light

At odds with it all, head guy at the building site

I’ve got the pieces

All scuffs and creases

No big releases

Seasonal increases

I’m part of the calm, faux human anthracite

I’ve got a good hold, it isn’t second sight

It’s somewhat hollow

Not hard to swallow

When one can follow

A real-life Apollo

When you choose who

You will surrender to

You could do worse than me

You could do worse than me

I'm out on the lawn soaking up the fading light

Ignoring the call to shelter in place tonight

Am I essential?

Not deferential

You've got potential

I'll try to be gentle

I’m trying to be calm and pass on something slight

Don’t know how to talk without betraying fright

We’re individuals

Each with our own souls

Skirting the black holes

All accidental

If you must choose

Who to surrender to

You could do a lot worse than me

You could do a lot worse than me

Scissorboy

So you think that you’re alright to be me

You’re successful in your life of plan B

I’d like to see how bad you’ve got to break free

Don’t it kill you to know you’re alive?

You’re not angry when you’re asleep

You’re not in it all too deep

Don’t think you know

So you’ve packed it up, heads 2 out of 3

Cleaned it out and on your way with the key

Won’t you stop and turn once more and tell me

That it’ll kill you to pack so light

You’re not angry when you’re asleep

You’re not in it all too deep

Don’t think you know

You’ll save your answers for the door

There’s more you know, I’m sure,

Than how you feel

And what’s in store for me?

You’re not in it all too deep

Don’t think you know

You’re not in it all too deep

Don’t think you know

For All Time

Here we lay remains of you

Among the stones and leaves

Welcome home

We couldn't ask for more

Wouldn't you agree?

Play the role

As awkward as I might be, I'll be fine

Over soon, sooner than you'd think

I know you'd agree

You'd think this wouldn't be really a thing

But all of my life I've been dreaming

All that's done

For all time

Call you home

For all time

Place my hand upon your chest

And whisper close to your ear

Let you go

Been coming for so long

Wouldn't you agree?

Large you loom

For reasons right or wrong

It no longer matters

Let you go as well as I know how

Which isn't that much, but I'll try

The farther I go in my life

And feel you look out through my eyes

All that's done

For all time

Call you home

For all time

Away

You’re always thinking

Like someone gets you

Out there somewhere

Or maybe you’re wrong

It’s not so easy

As waiting for what

You know will come soon

Because it won’t

Don’t you think that you might find something better

When you are one?

And just accept it, man, you’ve already met her

So why not move on?

Do not let the past drag on and on behind today

Further on you’ll find a place to put your mind away

Away

Can you remember

The times you felt it

Was strong and feelings

Got a hold of your mind?

But think the things you

Had known would be true

And you will find new

Reason for light

Don’t you think you might find you’re only better

When you are one,

And have a place where you can always find your center

Whenever you want?

Do not let your mind go on and on about the pain

Easy as it is to just relax and count the days away

Away

Truth in Hindsight

All jokes aside, it was ill advised, I will concede

So much for esteem, that became a pipe dream the day when I was freed

And I, I still remember when you turned to go

Your smile, told me everything I hadn’t known

For a while it felt like battling the undertow

But now I see the truth in hindsight

Four grinding years I’ve dealt with all of these fears, and now I’m out the other side

Not that I would claim that I’m all done with self-blame, just not strung out on my pride

And I, I still remember as you walked me out

Petrified, you tried to tell me but I had my doubts

I never said goodbye, but you were not what I was thinking about

I can’t deny

If I was too cruel, I’d do it again

It hardly was enough in hindsight

You and I, we both know, was the lesser loss that day

If they survived, I can only guess at what they thought of me

It was hardly right to make it seem as though I’d run away

It’s on par with the truth in hindsight

Let Live

Come see this spectacle of a nation

Don't believe the fans that flame the horror stories

What can I do in this life, this station?

On stage an avalanche is swallowing our pride

Are we two camps of perfect zealots?

Is there a truth between the mounds of theories?

How can we know to trust those who tell us?

Big dreams but all is lost to greed and foolish pride

I see you, be who you are

I believe you can be more than just an avatar

Do you see me trying to forgive?

Can you believe too?

Live and let live

No healing when we're under pressure

Honestly but when's that not going to be the story?

What can I do to make you consider

All needs are pressing when we're here on borrowed time?

I see you being who you are

Do you believe too that we are more than just some avatars?

Can you see me working to forgive?

It all depends on you

Live and let live

Mailbox

Okay, alright, I guess that this is one of those times

When I can lower my defense and tell you how I’ve been

I’m fine, sometimes, when I’m trying not to look for the kind

Of security I had with you here, and live

I always knew I’d lose my hold

My sense of where the pieces go

I never knew I’d have to start again

Right now I don’t feel I can talk to you

Right now there’s no one else I want to talk to

And you don’t want to hear I’m here and I’m alone

I’m lost somewhere, can’t find the way to go

And I think that it’s because I’m scared that when I get home

It’s changed, and my name has washed away with the rain

That had fallen when the sun was on break one day

I’ll see you when I come back home

Call when I can stand on my own

I’ll make believe I’m strong enough

To pick you up again

Right now I don’t feel I can talk to you

Right now there’s no one else I want to talk to

And I don’t want to have to feel like I’m alone

Okay, alright, I worry this is one of those times

Where I can lower my defense

And tell you how I’ve been